Friday, March 10, 2017

                   The tangelo

As I peeled the skin off the tangelo it sounded as crunchy as a crunchy bar. I couldn’t wait to devour its juicy segments. It felt like I was running my hands over a mountain. It looked the sun about to burst into one thousand pieces. I tasted one of the segments and all I thought in my mind was YUM. About a dozen drops of orange juice squirted out and all I could smell was the tangelos insides.

I have been learning to write a piece of descriptive writing of a small part of what I did in the holidays. Our success criteria was:
Line 1 - What you were doing
Line 2 - Something that was happening
Line 3 - Something you did
Line 4 - Why you did it.
Then the rest we had to figure out ourselves.
I think that my description and adjectives was good but I could of worked on with not saying water as many times as I did. I maybe could have added more lines of description but it was pretty hard and I just gave up.


  1. Hi Ezra's
    You have done really good on this DLO the Tangelo is a fruit i think and it looks very nice. just read over it when you have done because some of it dose not make seance but good work

    1. First maybe check your own comment. Just giving advice.