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Friday, March 10, 2017

                   The tangelo

As I peeled the skin off the tangelo it sounded as crunchy as a crunchy bar. I couldn’t wait to devour its juicy segments. It felt like I was running my hands over a mountain. It looked the sun about to burst into one thousand pieces. I tasted one of the segments and all I thought in my mind was YUM. About a dozen drops of orange juice squirted out and all I could smell was the tangelos insides.



I have been learning to write a piece of descriptive writing of a small part of what I did in the holidays. Our success criteria was:
Line 1 - What you were doing
Line 2 - Something that was happening
Line 3 - Something you did
Line 4 - Why you did it.
Then the rest we had to figure out ourselves.
I think that my description and adjectives was good but I could of worked on with not saying water as many times as I did. I maybe could have added more lines of description but it was pretty hard and I just gave up.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Ezra's
    You have done really good on this DLO the Tangelo is a fruit i think and it looks very nice. just read over it when you have done because some of it dose not make seance but good work

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    Replies
    1. First maybe check your own comment. Just giving advice.

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